How to let go of Self-images and have more self-confidence.

Letting go of self-images and building more self-confidence can be challenging. However, I believe we make life much harder when we allow others to have control over the narratives of our lives. In this post, I will give you a few tips on how you can find self-confidence.

 

This post is about letting go of Self-images and having more self-confidence.

 

Sometimes, we take responsibility to uphold self-images because of our peers, situations, or circumstances. We do these things not knowing how damaging it can be for us in the long run. We no longer try to become the best versions of ourselves but the best version of the person that people say we should be.

If it’s a mom that says you should be a nurse, then we want to become a nurse for our mom. If it’s a dad that says you should play baseball/softball, then we try to pursue that for our dad.

If it’s a friend,
a spouse,
a mentor,
a coworker
or whoever it might be, if that person has a say in your life and you appreciate them, you might find yourself chasing who they think you should be. Not realizing at that very moment you have decided to take on an image that would have a significant impact on your life. When taking on an image for other people, you tend to lose confidence in yourself. 

I’m sure that’s one way the enemy tries to kick up dirt in your life. I can say that he has tried to kick up much dirt in my life that has to do with my self-confidence. And to be honest, you might not see how much dirt he has kicked up until later in life. When you struggle with self-confidence, you might end up trying to be what you think other people want you to be instead of being who you really are. I won’t lie and say I haven’t found myself wanting to be the person people envisioned me to be. At the moment, it seems like the right thing to do, but, in the end, it left me replaying conversations over and over in my head.

The truth is, I can’t say that I won’t ever replay conversations back in my head ever again, but I’m learning not to doubt who I am for the approval of others. 

People Pleasing

I wouldn’t say I was a people-pleaser, but I think I wasn’t pleased with myself, so I tried to keep this image up. And when you place images on yourself, it can be hard to shake them. You find yourself feeling like you have to be this person every time you go around those set friends, or you have to be this person every time you go to a family function. Sooner or later, you will find yourself exhausted and just wanting to be by yourself so you can be who you really are. It’s exhausting trying to be someone you are not, so you find yourself wanting to be alone. 

And that’s how the enemy keeps us bonded and living in fear.

Sometimes we don’t view it as fear but let’s call it what it is…. It’s fear. We are not comfortable with people seeing sides of us that we didn’t put on display for them to see. But in reality, that’s the only way we can be free. We can only be free when we choose to show someone who we really are, no matter what they might think. We have to come to a point in life where we understand that we will not be everyone’s cup of tea. Everyone will not identify with our testimony. Some people might not want to understand our scars from our past. Everyone doesn’t always come into our lives with their arms open wide. 

But there will be people that want to understand who you are and want to do life with you. It’s easier to move in self-confidence when we realize that we do have people who want to have a relationship with us, and we don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. It’s a great feeling when you are no longer trying to become someone you are not. 

 

Jeremiah 1:5 | “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

 

How can I have more self-confidence?

Self-confidence – a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.

The truth is, I’m still learning, but I do have a few tips.

1. Be authentically you.
It might seem small, but it’s a big step. Don’t pretend to be anyone else. Your friends and family will have to accept the person you are or accept being on the outer circle. If you are a person that likes being “liked,” then this could be hard for you. You have to take a look in the mirror and see how not being authentically you is killing your self-confidence in yourself.

 

2. Set boundaries!!
This one can be a little tricky because sometimes you don’t even know that you don’t have any. So if you see that the conversation is too much for you, then back away from it. If you are invited or show up at a place that will cause you to “perform” (become someone else), then remove yourself. Don’t allow anyone to pressure you.

 

3. Say positive affirmations to yourself.
I started looking in the mirror and telling myself great things daily. Is it comfortable?..not yet, but I keep it going. I’m not sayings you’re going to believe them all right away, but time will do its things. I have 31 Positive Affirmations you can say with your kids and for yourself.

 

4. Talk to the people that care about you.
Friends, family, church members, connect groups, etc., will sometimes hype you up more than you can hype up yourself. They will send the most right on-time encouragement. So let them know what you are dealing with. Ask them to pray for you and with you.

 

5. Build a relationship with God.
Who better to remind you of all the greatest inside you that the world has yet to see than The Father? So spend time reading your bible, praying & talking to God, and spend time worshiping Him.
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”
Jeremiah 1:5 NLT

 

6. Give grace| Accept imperfections
Yes, grace. Sometimes we can feel like the self-image people have attached our names to is much deserved because of past mistakes. But, it doesn’t matter what has happened in your life; if you have asked God to forgive you, you are forgiven. So, give yourself grace for not always getting it right or saying the right thing. Love on yourself more, and know that God loves you. We are all imperfect people.

I hope this has helped you to believe you don’t have to be anyone but yourself. That you are enough just showing you being who God called you to be. Stand in confidence, it can only be one you, and no one can do you like you do.
God loves you, and so do I.

Xo, Ken